hat last gust of wind had almost done it, and way too soon at that! Here he
stood on the ledge of a high-rise looking out over the city, and that gust
just about took him down. The fall itself wasn’t the problem; in fact, the
fall was the reason he was standing out here. He just didn’t want it to happen
at the wrong time. He had heard more times than he could count about how “timing
is everything.” They had harped and harped at him about timing for years. For
once in his life he was going to get the timing right. No one else was going
to ruin it for him this time. Now, it was his show and no one else’s. Not even
God’s.
If he hadn’t been so preoccupied with his jumbled thoughts, the view from 30
stories up would have been spectacular. Romantic couples would have paid
good money to have the view he had tonight. But his thoughts were spinning
and hard to control. In fact, if he had been in his “normal” mind he would
have laughed at the irony of comparing himself perched on that thin little
ledge to Satan’s temptation of Jesus on the mountain top. His “normal” mind
had been missing in action for a long, long time; and he wasn’t Jesus, that
was for sure. So, the beautiful city lights spread out below his feet were
completely wasted on him. All he could focus on was the crowd below. Oh yeah,
they had gathered down there to look up and point at the latest city spectacle
as soon as the spotlight first hit him. “Funny how a fire truck and some
flashing lights are sure to draw a crowd,” he thought. Some of them were
yelling and waving their arms for him to jump, to get it over with. At least
that’s what he figured, but he was too far up to hear them. Well, he was going to give them a show all right! But, on his terms.
“Don’t bring out the street cleaners just yet,” he muttered, “they’ll
have enough to do in a little bit.” He leaned forward just a tad to get a
look at where he would end up. The spectators down below had actually started
cheering when they saw him lean out and look down. Cynicism was his strong
suit, so he wasn’t really surprised. “I know what you’re here for you bloodsuckers,”
he shouted, “just want to see the latest freak show, do ya?” Of course, no
one could hear him, not even God. They and He were all too far away. There
were cameras everywhere down there. Some using their own lights, and some
benefiting from the big spotlight that had drawn the crowd. There were even
a few gawkers trying to take photographs with regular 35 mm cameras, or maybe
those were binoculars, he couldn’t be sure. Anyway, he sure had their attention!
And he was going to keep it for a while too.
He pressed his back against the façace of the building, his arms were
spread out with his palms flat against the brick. He took two halting steps
to the left, about a foot closer to the window. He had no intention of going
back in, he just wanted to play with the mob a little bit. “It’s kind of
like foreplay,” he thought, “makes it last longer, and makes the climax better.”
The crowd looked especially agitated now, like they were worried he wasn’t
going to jump. They were waving their arms, and jumping up and down. Some
had cupped their hands around their mouths while they shouted up at him.
“Oh, don’t worry you sick ghouls,” he shouted back, “I’m gonna do it!” He
lifted his right foot up and held it out over the ledge. The crowd broke
into a loud prolonged cheer that he could hear. He laughed out loud as he
put his foot back on the ledge. A wave of excitement and goose bumps washed
over him from his feet to the crown of his head. He had them eating out of
his hand, and he loved it.
“Today is a good day to die,” he thought, remembering the old samurai
saying. Of course, the samurai had meant that they had no regrets. They had
lived life fully, and if death came today, so be it. But, he regretted plenty,
and if death came today, he could at least escape the self-recrimination.
“No time like the present,” he said, trying to summon up some courage. It
was as simple as taking a step, any two year old could do it. He lifted his
food and stepped off the ledge just like casually stepping off his patio.
Suddenly, it quit being a game. The sheer terror made him unable to even
gulp for breath. Air roared past his ears drowning out any sound. From deep
within him a scream involuntarily erupted as if Vesuvius itself had exploded
in his gut. His pulse hammered at his temples. The air tore open his eyelids
with miniscule particles of spent hydrocarbons, and his eyes filled with
tears. Now deaf and blind, he tipped forward as he fell, diving head first
toward the street below. His arms and legs flailed, as though through some consciousness of their own they wanted to save themselves.
The day at the office had finally ended. It had been a very busy and trying
day. On her way out, she said goodbye to Sally the receptionist. “Bye,
Allison,” Sally had said, “see you tomorrow.” Allison went out the office
door and down the hall to the elevator. Of all the employees in the office
Sally was the one she liked the best. Allison didn’t really know why she
liked Sally, she just did. If she had been asked why, she couldn’t have
given an objective logical reason. It was one of those inexplicable subjective
things, like why some people like okra, and so many others don’t. “Come
to think of it,” she said to herself, “not many people like Sally either.”
Then her brain made one of those illogical serendipitous connections: Maybe
the only people that like Sally are the same ones that like okra. She chuckled
at the pure silliness of that thought. While she was enjoying the moment,
the elevator door opened. Allison stepped in. No one else was on the elevator,
she liked it that way. After an even normal day at
the office she preferred to ride the elevator down to the lobby alone.
But, after today, well…it was one of those unexpected treasures to be alone
in the elevator. To top it off, the elevator didn’t even stop until it
reached the lobby. She walked across the lobby, and stepped into the still
moving revolving door. Her timing had been right on! She didn’t even have
to adjust her stride to step into the pie shaped third of the door that
seemed to want her for a passenger. “Wow,” she thought, “I’m on a roll!”
She started walking to the parking garage that daily committed a legalized
form of extortion, when she heard what sounded like a crowd of people yelling
and shouting. The sound came from up ahead of her, so she followed it to
see what was happening. “Probably some Anti-abortion and Pro-abortion groups
demonstrating and counter-demonstrating,” she thought. Whatever it was must
be just around the next corner. Turning the corner, Allison saw a mass of
people about two blocks away packed into the narrow concrete valley formed
by the high-rises lining both sides of the street. They were yelling and
waving their arms, but at what she couldn’t discern. She slowly walked closer
and closer to the scene, feeling that combination of fear and curiosity that
made her heart beat faster. She wanted to run away, and run closer, both
that the same time. It was like that time she had witnessed a car crash,
and had stopped on the highway to help. The blood and smell and groans had
repulsed her, but she couldn’t turn away. She had been utterly fascinated with it!
As she drew up to the outer edges of the crowd, she saw that they
were pointing and yelling at a man standing on a ledge of one of the high-rises.
He looked like he was threatening to jump. He started edging toward a window
on his left causing the yelling and jeering to intensify. “They want him
to jump,” Allison said incredulously. “Yeah, isn’t it great?” the guy next
to her said, “This is better than WWF, man!” She would have sworn the guy
next to her was Chris Farley, if she hadn’t known that Farley was already
dead from his own demons. The Farley look-alike had the same wild-eyed insane
look and the same obese, flabby belly that Farley did. “Jump you yellow-bellied
chickenshit!” Farley #2 shouted at the top of his lungs. The man on the ledge
lifted his right foot, and the mob began cheering, trying to get him to jump.
He put his foot back down, and paused as if changing his mind. Then almost
casually he stepped off the ledge, and began his hideous descent. Allison’s
hand flew up to her mouth. “Oh, my God…Oh, no…no…no,” she said as she started to shake uncontrollably. She bent over,
hands still at her mouth, wailing and violently shaking. She fainted on the
spot.
Falling past the 5th floor, he rolled another quarter turn, then in a moment
of triumph, landed perfectly on the air bag. The boxes underneath the bag
collapsed on themselves, cushioning his fall even more. It had been exquisitely
performed! The stunt team surged to the air bag. After a moment they gave
the thumbs up sign; the crowd and crew broke into a grand cheer. The director
gave a sigh of relief, and yelled, “Cut!”